Caterpillars

A  Russian biologist to Putin: why spend the money on novichok when we can achieve the same objective very cheaply by using caterpillars?

We’ve been breeding them for some time and we’ve discovered that in their primal state they are harmful enough. Recently we’ve been injecting them with a toxic ingredient which, if coming into human contact, can be lethal.

One question, Mr President: we’d like to identify these caterpillars by name. Would you approve the name putipillar?

Alfie Evans

Alessandra and I are troubled by our reaction to the time, energy, funds and emotional stress expended on poor little Alfie Evans. I guess it’s fortunate that he had no idea what has been going on during the many weeks until all medical support was withdrawn and he died.

We happen to believe in euthanasia. It is perhaps ironic that many of those voices raised in support of trying to save Alfie would be quite ready to recommend euthanasia for the old and dying to give them a painless exit from a life with no real meaning.

Being at the end of the road is much easier to deal with unemotionally but the fact is that Alfie Evans had arrived there before he’d got past the very beginning.

It must be true that the medical profession is not without fault. Who is? Who wants to be? But the extensive, accumulated, very expensive treatment and analysis in Alfie’s case was, frankly, not money well spent.

There are many, many people who complain about the shortcomings of the National Health Service. There is a shortage of funds so please let’s not waste the precious resources on hopeless cases.

And don’t forget the trauma which the hospital staff suffered at the hands and voices of possibly well-intentioned but certainly ill-informed members of the public. Shame on them and, even, shame on Alfie’s parents who refused to accept reality.

Ken Livingstone

How could I have forgotten this dreadful man! Not only an extreme left-winger but also virulently anti-Semitic.

I recall the early days of my move from London to Johannesburg in 1989. We were invited to join a fascinating internal expedition which included meeting some of the then most prominent politicians including  Mangosuthu Buthelezi and Bantu Holomisa. Plus a visit to a (then) important goldmine. You should see the tripe being scrubbed-tripe, talk about listening to that smirking Livingstone waffling on.

The highlight of that tour was probably the investment conference sponsored by the stockbrokers, Frankel Pollack. The keynote speaker was the communist, Joe Slovo. He gave such a witty and informative speech that he undoubtedly wooed his audience. A really clever man.

No one could suggest that Red Ken was/is a clever man. More like a slithering, sharp-tongued, evil and dangerous Labour supporter.

But do you think that the Honourable Jeremy Corbyn who professes a positive view about Judaism will have the courage to expel the less than honourable Livingstone from the Labour Party? As Buddy Holly sang: ‘That’ll  be the Day’.

Diane Abbott

I don’t suppose the Beatles had Diane Abbott in mind when they wrote ‘when I’m 64’. That happens to be her age now so a brief extract from the lyrics seems appropriate:

“Will you still need me, will you still feed me when I’m 64?”

I wish someone would feed her…to the hyenas. Lions are far too good for her, only scavengers will do. Of course, there’s always Jeremy.

Windrush

There seems to be a rush for this door. Perhaps the rush is driven opportunistically by the wind.

Which government was in power when the wind first rushed in? Fancy that! The Labour Party.

Which party seems to include real anti-Semites? Fancy that! The Labour Party.

Talk about those who really do protest too much. In this case ‘methinks’ looks to be superfluous.

Priorities, please

Jeremy

Wake up to priorities! You seem to think that fundamental parliament comes before intelligent government.

It doesn’t! And intelligent government does not disrespect fundamental parliament.

There is a time and place for most, but probably not all, behaviour. For example, take your inappropriate attendance at that Seder evening. Maybe you thought your presence would mitigate the not infrequent evidence of your anti-Semitism. All you did was to exaggerate it.

Perhaps you need some lessons in common sense?

Shut Up, Jeremy

There is a time to speak measured statements opposing government decisions in favour of displaying sensible views of the Labour Party.

This is not one of those occasions. It would not have been shrewd for Theresa May to have sought a parliamentary vote. There is more than sufficient evidence of the crass behaviour by the Russians, either directly in respect of the Skripals or indirectly just by supporting the monster Assad.

And, taking note of the extraordinarily, even surprisingly, naive comments both about Yulia Skripal’s alleged abduction and about Syria’s chemical weapons.

Monsters and Maniacs

Just recently we have watched for the umpteenth time Gathering Storm (Albert Finney and Vanessa Redgrave) and Wilderness Years (Robert Hardy and Sian Phillips).

During that period of Churchill’s (non) career, the catchword for me is appeasement or perhaps the phrase ‘peace in our time’. There is a key difference between the participants in the Second World War and today’s Syria plus Russia against the Western World.

In the earlier scenario there was a clear difference between good and evil. Today we are dealing with Monsters (Syria, Iran and Russia) and Maniacs (the Islamists who wish to impose a caliphate upon all of us).

Rabbit asked Winnie-the-Pooh whether he would like butter or honey on his bread. “Both!”

So, what should be done: convince Russia that Assad is not worth protecting but retaining its bases need not be in jeopardy. At the same time, co-operation between Russia and the West to demolish ISIL would be hugely beneficial to both sides.

The Middle East

Old Moore’s Almanack (not to be confused with Old Moore’s Almanac) is an annual publication which is more than 300 years old. It is perceived to be of astrological interest and value.

I have invited myself to provide the following forecasts about the Middle East:

  1. Oil which is the mainstay of several countries including Abu Dhabi, Iran and Saudi Arabia will steadily reduce in importance.
  2. There will continue to be friction between Iran and its neighbours. The country will continue to make a nuisance of itself. It’s no wonder that the USA is taking a good hard look at the nuclear treaty supported and encouraged by ex-President Obama. (Old Moore says that leopards don’t change their spots.)
  3. New alliances will be formed with Israel, specifically by Saudi Arabia. Such alliances may lead to a strong solution to the Israeli/Palestinian conflict which is of no value’ to either side.
  4. The winter of the Arab Spring will result in a strong uprising by the Egyptians.
  5. As for Syria, with much reluctance the Russians will withdraw their overt support. This is because Putin will decide that Assad is not worth fighting for. There will be much more to be gained from combining with forces in the West to eradicate the Islamic threat. But not before many more thousands have perished.
  6. All of us will benefit a lot from the recognition that sometimes a bird in hand is not worth as much as two in the bush.